Looking down, feeling outsider

Letters to a Stepmom: On Belonging

Dear Stepmom —

You are irreplaceable.  But today you may feel like an outsider–even in your own home, around your own people. You may feel you don’t fit, or don’t belong, or are out of the loop. You may feel like parent #4 on the rankings you imagine are being published daily. All of these lies Satan sends swirling can start to play on repeat on the record player in your brain. 

But the TRUTH is →

You are God’s #1. His precious daughter. Holy royalty. 

This world is broken and blended family life is tough, but God is weaving a beautiful story of His glory and he invited you to be a part of it. He picked you for this role. He chose you to be the mom for these kids.  (1 Peter 2: 4-9) 

You are invited. 

You are included.

You are chosen.

You belong. 

Practical Encouragement for today→

  • Reflect on a time you felt you contributed to your family. A time you felt you belonged and felt an integral part. If none come to mind easily, that’s ok-just keep the idea top of mind, so when one shows up, you can jot it down, to pull on that memory in the future. In my experience, I find this feeling is like riding a roller coaster, with highs and lows, good days and bad. It’s helpful to jot down the good days to refresh our memories in the other seasons. 
  • Ask your spouse to fill you in on the latest with your stepchild and schedule time to look at this week/month’s calendar for any events either of you anticipate coming up.
  • Schedule a “date” for some 1:1 time with your stepchild. Let your child pick where you go. The goal of the time together can simply be getting to know each other and building your relationship. 


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2 Comments to Letters to a Stepmom: On Belonging

  1. The letter above helps me as a grandmother as well, for often we are filling a #4 or #5 slot as well in the lives of the children entrusted to us by God. Thank you for setting up this blog.

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